Forgiveness and forgetting

by Jun 29, 20210 comments

Forgiveness and Forgetting

It isn’t easy to forget and forgive, even when you feel wronged. First, you have to admit your mistakes and explain the reasons. Forgiveness is the act of choosing forgiveness, and forgetting is the process to eliminate the causes of your past mistakes.

Molestation survivor Sandy Freese YouTube

Forgiveness, and forgetting with Sandy Freese

In the video above with Sandy Freese, she explains her service Victory from Chaos Coaching. Now, if you had a tumultuous relationship with your father and that relationship included molestation, what would you do?

What if your father was the pastor of your church? What would you do then? Millions of women across America suffer from molestation at the hands of their own family members. It’s not an easy thing to discuss and come to terms with.

forgiveness and forgetting - Neurolinguistic programming

Neurolinguistic programming or NLP

Sandy Freese service Victory from Chaos Coaching utilizes two particular types of mental training. The first one is Neurolinguistic Programming or NLP. This is a mental approach that copies strategies used by successful individuals, mimicking their own approaches to reach a goal. It utilizes thoughts, language, and patterns of behavior learned through experience.

Forgiveness, and forgetting – the cold hard facts

Let’s be real, the cold hard facts about molestation that women like Cindy Freese have suffered from Is outlined in the bullet points below. And mind you, these are just a few of the statistics these bullet points present.

forgiveness and forgetting
Forgiveness, and forgetting – the cold hard facts

The stats vary, but they’re real. However, it’s worth noting that the greater the trauma you have been through, the greater sense of freedom you will experience once you forgive. But let’s not kid ourselves here.

Forgiveness and forgetting are two different things. And even though they go hand-in-hand, it’s often easier to forgive but not forget. Think about that for a moment. Which one would give you a greater sense of freedom from your past?

Forgiveness, and forgetting – not an easy task

  • One in 9 girls and Suffer from sexual abuse By adults
  • 1 in 53 boys Below 18 years of age Suffer from sexual abuse By adults
  • 82% of all victims In America are women. 
  • Females From 16-19 Suffer 4 times more sexual assaults
  • 82% of all juvenile victims are female
  • 90% of adult rape victims are female

It isn’t easy to forgive and forget. However, there are ways to make it easier. This article is written for people who struggle to let go and forgive those things that have caused them to be angry or unhappy.

We decide to forgive those who have caused us pain or anger, and we will be rewarded with something in the return. We are saying that they can be forgiven because we have chosen to accept their forgiveness.

forgiveness and forgetting

Forgiveness and forgetting can be liberating since once we have let go of the pain and anger which consumed us, then we’re on the path to feeling more relaxed and finding more peace in our lives.

Forgiveness and forgetting could mean that we have to let go of things that have caused us more harm than they merit. Forgiveness isn’t something we can expect from people who have committed no wrongs.

Forgiveness and Forgetting

If we do suffer the loss of someone we love, we owe them the forgiveness we’ve deserved. Forgiveness is a choice and should be considered a conscious choice. To fully forgive, we must first feel the loss, and then we can start to let go of the suffering that has consumed us for many years.

Forgiveness and forgetting – Not easy but possible

Forgiveness and forgetting aren’t easy, but they are possible. You can decide to forgive, but letting go of the resentment requires letting go of your past. The process of rumination is one way to accomplish this goal. Dr. Hazliddi calls this process of rumination “self-examination.”

forgiveness and forgetting
Forgiveness and forgetting – Not easy but possible

Forgiveness and forgetting – Rumination

Rumination starts when we reflect on how we adored, supported, and valued the person we loved and respected, and how we hurt them. We begin to look at the various ways we have hurt each other over the years, and we try to figure out the reason for this pain.

What is more painful today than it has ever been? This information can help us let go of past mistakes and words. This process of forgiveness and letting go begins with self-examination. Dr. Hazliddi says “forgetting never hurts”.

forgiveness, and forgetting

Although it sounds like a simple statement, it is far from easy. If you allow yourself to be hurt and angry, you will carry on feeling those feelings. Although it may be difficult to let go of these feelings, you can create space by forgiving yourself.

It takes courage and determination to let go of grudges and forgive. It is difficult to forgive and can be painful. However, the process of forgiveness and letting go involves a willingness to do things that appear to be selfish initially.

Forgiveness and forgetting – actions

Forgiveness and forgetting require actions. For example, if we are the victim of a threatening attack, our natural instinct is to flee and run away and hide. However, if we learn to forgive and take the time to listen to our attacker, we might decide that we will not leave our attacker in our home.

Forgiveness and forgetting- Wearng you enemys shoes

To forgive and not forgetting to work, we must place ourselves in the shoes of our attacker. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have found this to be particularly effective when it comes to forgiving and forgetting the things that people have done.

One of the most important ways to bury the hatchet is to understand the history, or the past, of your adversary. You may not be able to get that type of data and information from the oppressor himself. But there’s usually family, or friends, who know far more about your adversary than you ever would.

Remember the way you felt when you were attacked, and allow yourself to feel that feeling. An excellent second step is to consider what kind of life your adversary has been through to bring him to such a reprobate point in his life. It usually goes a little something like this.

The person who molested you came from a background in which he himself was molested or violated in some way or manner. This is great for starting the healing process within your own self.

Then begin to forgive yourself and let go of the negative feelings. You will notice that the peace in your spirit and mind will grow when you let go of any resentment towards your attackers.

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